5 Great George Carlin Jokes Every Human Being Should Know

by 4 years ago


Six years ago today — June 22nd, 2008 — comedy legend George Carlin died at the age of 71. Perhaps one of the most iconic comedians of the 21st Century, Carlin’s influence continues to be pretty much everywhere, leaving behind a vivid legacy of thought-provoking comedy bits.

As a tribute to the comedy legend, I’ve compiled five of my favorite George Carlin bits that every literate human being should know, including his famous rants on linguistic obscenity, football and baseball, and why men are stupid and why women are crazy. It’s just too damn bad the Mister Conductor of Shining Time Station isn’t still around to comment on just how messed up the world has become.


RIP, Carlin. Hopefully you’re chillin’ with Mitch Hedberg, Phil Hartman, Patrice O’Neal, Chris Farley,  Hunter S. Thompson, and all the other dead, honest funny guys who are needed on earth to keep us all sane.

Men are stupid and women are crazy: 

Also, if you aren’t familiar with his famous bit on rights vs. privileges. Considering how batshit discourse in this country has gotten thanks to social media, I think we all could use a little George Carlin in our lives to mellow everyone the fuck out:

And in case you’ve never heard it, the Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television:

Baseball vs. Football: 

Religion is bullshit:

On life ending:



I could find scores and scores and scores of other notable quotes of George Carlin wisdom, but here are a few of the most thought-provoking ones:

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TAGSGeorge Carlinmen vs. womenStand-up comedy

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