How To Get The Drunkest For The Cheapest



The economy still sucks. Six years since the Great Recession, no one has any money. Well, except these assholes. Fuck them. But you and I don’t have any money. We’ve had to trim and trim our budgets. In lieu of going out for tacos on Tuesday, we now make them at home. We’ve sold our cars and take the bus. Our clothes are tattered, but buying new jeans is out of the question.

Still, the one thing you and I will never cut out of our lives is alcohol. Because being poor sucks, and the only way to ameliorate those feelings is with the drink. Luckily, there are ways to get your fix with fewer funds.

How? By drinking high-proof, cheap booze. Yea. Duh. So what are some of the cheapest spirits with the highest alcohol content? The Washington Post did wonderful research.

Your best bets? Shitty vodka.

A 1.75L bottle of Odesse vodka comes out at the top of the list. At the cost of only $12.45 in Virginia, that works out to roughly 3.2 shots per dollar, or roughly 32 cents per shot. Skol and Aristrocrat vodkas aren’t far behind, followed by Barton’s and Aristocrat gin.

Oh god. That is a hangover-and-a-half. But, times are tough. Three shots for a buck? You’d take that deal at any bar in America. Chase it with some Tang or something. According to The Post, boxed wine is also not a bad bet, but beer, delicious beer, any delicious beer, is a poor investment. The first beer doesn’t crack the top 350 most inexpensive ways to get drunk.

The most cost-efficient beer item is a case of Genny Cream Ale (upstate New York represent!), all the way down at number 356 in the rankings.

As a daily Genny drinker, that’s good to know. But still. Sucks that beer is such a waste (spending money on something you love is never a waste).

To check out all the charts, see the post here.

[H/T My Dad]

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