Just once in my life I’d love to be a fly on the wall for the think-tank discussions that happen between people trying to smuggle drugs into prison. Take 28-year-old Janice Salas, for example. Janice was reportedly arrested after being pulled over on her way to visit a correctional facility. What tipped cops off that she had drugs in her car? Well for one, her vehicle reportedly smelled like marijuana. For two, upon being ordered out of the car police noticed that she was “walking stiff,” leading officers to discover eight grams of heroin and methamphetamine hidden in her groin.
This is how I imagine Janice’s “planning phase” went down:
Janice: Since I’ve elected to smuggle eight pounds of heroin that I can neither walk normally with nor hide anywhere inconspicuously on my body, I’m going to drive as fast as I can to the correctional facility so no one catches me.
Degenerates: Great idea! Also if you get SOOOOOPER nervous you should light a blunt while driving.
Janice: A blunt? How many?
Degenerates: As many as you like! Smoke ‘em back to back gurlll. Really get that weed stench embedded into your car’s upholstery, it beats stale fast food French fries any day.
Janice: Thanks guys, y’all are so helpful <3
Although police caught Janice’s pathetic attempt at jailhouse smuggling this past September, she was not arrested until Tuesday due to a delay in the police being able to test and verify that the substance she was carrying was indeed heroin. Upon verification, Janice was arrested on Tuesday and charged with a second-degree felony.
[H/T Daily Mail]