Taking a person’s dating app profile as scripture is like believing a person’s resume is entirely truthful. The person who says they’re ‘Highly proficient in Microsoft Excel’ just learned the SUM function on the subway ride to the job interview. The person you are meeting is the Steve Urkel to the Stefan you see in their profile pictures. As long as you know you’re getting a store-brand version of the person your date is selling, you won’t be disappointed when she waddles in the door.
That’s why I do not feel the slightest big of compassion for this girl who was shocked to learn that her date was older than Stephen Hawking. Twitter user priya_ebooks detailed her date with the White Walker. SPOILER ALERT: they didn’t bone :(.
[protected-iframe id=”6f4182bf0137acb5c104c58244d1418c-97886205-37946113″ info=”//giphy.com/embed/tA2P4gcT1iJzO” width=”480″ height=”480″ frameborder=”0″]
Should have let Old Man River use his mouth on you sweetie. Missed out on 80+ years of work experience. Now THAT is ‘highly proficient.’