At first when I read this I was like “What kind of ratchet fuck holds up a McDonald’s?” Like on my list of places to rob McDonald’s is way at the bottom, unless I’m looking to steal food in which case it’s #3 or so. The places is famous for having a dollar menu, aka being cheap as shit and if I’m looking for a big payout I’m not heading to a burger joint where nothing costs more than $7. Then again, 27-year-old Michael Lynch managed to grab almost $900 from the till, so either the McDonald’s he hit is poppin’ all day every day or there’s a conspiracy going on and McDick’s inflated the dollar amount for the insurance payout. According to ITV it’s a case of the former, but I’m calling bullshit.
37-years-old Michael Lynch stole around £800 from the McDonald’s branch at the Fort shopping centre, near Erdington on the morning of March 8.
Lynch was high on drink and drugs when he caused a scene with a worker. Staff and onlookers called the police as soon as the commotion begun.
CCTV footage was captured showing Lynch trying to steal a till through the drive-through’s window an hour before.
The crook, who was jailed for five-and-a-half years, had been freed from an sentence imposed over a violent robbery in 2005 just 12 months earlier.
“Hey Michael, now that you’re out of jail whaddya wanna do?”
“Hmmm…let’s go stick up a McDonald’s with an axe and steal all their money, then get caught because I’m an idiot who came back a second time within the same hour!”
“Sounds good to me!”
Michael needs some new friends.