The First Post-Labor Day Presidential Polls Are Out And They Are All Over The Freaking Place

Hey guys, guess what?

It’s finally election season! Yes, the past year-and-a-half of bullshit we endured was all just a prelude to bring us to the bullshit of the next two months, the bullshit that (sort of) actually matters.

With that in mind, a bunch of polls came out today, to officially kick things off.

They make things muddled as shit.

To recap first, a post-convention Trump took a small national lead, which held up until the Democratic National Convention and the week that followed, where Trump took a crap all over whatever goodwill he’d built up, propelling Clinton to big leads in key swing states.

But like I just said, none of that bullshit matters. All in the past. Where do the candidates stand today? Short answer: who fucking knows.

A CNN poll shows Trump with greater national support than Clinton, at 45-43. That comes predominantly from a huge margin of independents leaning towards Trump. Right now, according to CNN, they are breaking 49 to 29 in his favor.

Meanwhile, a Washington Post poll shows Hillary Clinton holding a near insurmountable edge, with her even leading in fucking Texas. (It should be noted that for the first time since 1964, the Dallas Morning News refused to endorse the Republican candidate for president, calling Trump “unfit.”)

The CNN poll shows likely voters trust Trump more on issues like the economy and terrorism, but the Post poll puts Hillary firmly in command in the Electoral College, with, at this point, 244 votes safely going her way. Trump, solidly, has just 126.

What’s it all mean? Honestly, nothing, because there’s still two months for these two idiots to do shit that doesn’t have any bearing on their actual ability to lead but will sway the average unintelligent and impressionable voter this way or that, such that this election will probably hinge on something as fundamentally stupid as Hillary Clinton fucking up petting a dog two days before November 8th.