Hot Pockets Yanked From Stores for Containing ‘Diseased and Unsound Animals’ So Change Your Dinner Plans


Hot Pockets — the food most enjoyed by the diseased and unsound animals of the world — is being pulled off store shelves for containing diseased and unsound animals. Weird how that happened.

Giant Food, LLC announced it removed from sale Hot Pockets Philly Steak & Cheese as a result of the Rancho Feeding Corporation recall of meat products. The USDA announced a recall of Rancho Feeding Corporation meat products because they were produced without all required inspections.

So to recap, the food you assumed contained diseased and unsound meat does indeed contain diseased and unsound meat. In other news, water is wet.

Giant Food is requesting customers who have purchased those Hot Pockets should discard any unused portions and bring their purchase receipt to Giant Food for a full refund. Not, you know, go to a hospital or anything.

For a complete list of the recalled products, consult this list. You know, instead of just tossing it all, you want to grab the box in your freezer and go “thank god my babies, you’re safe.”


[via CBS Baltimore]