A HUGE Poisonous Snake Was Found On A Flight To Mexico And Not ONE Person Jumped Out The Emergency Exit Door
Oh nice, just when I was starting to think blasting through the air at 30,000 feet in a big metal vessel was getting a bit too stress-free, throw a venomous snake in the mix to jazz things up for a little in-flight entertainment. It’s not like anyone’s on edge after you tell us that our fucking seat cushion is our lifeline in case we dive into the ocean, just throw a six foot (*Googles ‘are snakes reptiles or amphibians?‘*) reptile on the plane just for shits.
A passenger named Indalecio Medina recorded the footage of the snake on an AeroMexico flight from Torreon to Mexico City.
“The flying snake… ha ha ha. A unique experience,” he tweeted. Medina later told Daily Mail:
“I had to catch it with a blanket and obviously we gave it some magazines to read for a while. The snake arrived alive and kicking, frightened but without having paid its airfare. And best of all, priority when it came to landing and animal control experts waiting for the unexpected traveller.”
The airline claims it doesn’t know how the venomous snake got on the plane “measures have been taken to avoid such incidents in the future.”
Oh fuck off, no there hasn’t. If you don’t know how the fucking snake got on the plane, how can you say with confidence that you can prevent it from happening in the future, AeroMexico? What measures are you taking exactly? Are you hiring a pest control service to do a sweep through before every flight? Are you setting up snake traps in the overhead compartments? This reeks of an inside job. I couldn’t bring a fucking tube of toothpaste past security and you’re expecting me to believe that a six foot reptile slithered onto the runway past the guys with the earmuffs, up the 90 degree inclined steps, and up into first class? Don’t piss on my head and tell me its raining, AeroMexico. Remind me to never fly with you. Unless it’s the cheapest flight on Orbitz. Then I’ll just double up my Xanax intake and turn into a can of jelly.