Prison Inmate Chops His Dick Off And Tries To Flush It Down The Toilet Because If You Don’t Use It, You Lose It

Us on the outside simply cannot fathom the thought of chopping off our meat popsicles. It is what wakes us up in the morning, what drives most of our decisions, and why we bother to maintain a shred of hygiene.

But, assuming you’re a straight dude, imagine being locked up in a place where your penis is deemed useless. Once a beaming light saber of hope and promise is now reduced to no more than a stale, shit-flavored gummy worm. A constant reminder of your oppression.

When you shift your perspective a bit, it’s not that difficult to understand this 40-year-old British prisoner’s motive behind hacking his cock off and trying to flush it down the toilet.

According to the Telegraph,

The prisoner, who has not been named, was found by [Bristol] Prison wardens with serious injuries and taken to hospital.

Paramedics from the South Western Ambulance Service NHS Foundation Trust were called to the jail at around 10am last Friday, after reports a man in his 40s had suffered serious injuries.

A spokesman for the trust said it had received a report from the prison that the man had serious bleeding, and that he might be unconscious.

After they arrived at the scene, paramedics worked to stem the bleeding before taking the man to Southmead Hospital, where he received treatment.

A spokesman for the Prison Service said the injury was self-inflicted and that no other prisoners were involved.

Apparently, this isn’t the only run-in the Bristol prison system has had with inmates attempting to de-man themselves.

In November 2007, another inmate mutilated himself and tried to cut off his pecker using a prison-issue razor. He suffered deep laceration wounds and was found bleeding in his cell before taken to the hospital.

[h/t Telegraph]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.