I wish I was a more decisive person when it came to this shit. Morality is such a dragggg.
Part of me wants to say, “Yeah dude, totally fine” and the other part of me wants to say, “You really can’t find someone else to stick your dick in/potentially love? How pathetic are you, Dan?!”
Because I’m human and my emotions are vast and complex (yawn), I’m going to tackle this horse (is that even a saying?) from both sides. However, the answer to the title is essentially yes, it is SOMETIMES okay to date a Bro’s ex.
Basically we have to examine 3 separate things/justifications:
Uno: Your relationship to the Bro in question
Two: The type of relationship the Bro in question had with his ex
C: Your relationship to the ex
Beginning with number one, the term ‘Bro’ is used pretty loosely nowadays. I mean, I bet some of you say, “Thanks Bro” to the guy who delivers your pizza, but that doesn’t mean you guys are friends. It just means you wanted to throw a term of endearment his way for dropping off a beautiful-cheesy-saucy delight at your front door.
It’s okay to date a Bro’s ex if this Bro is really more of an acquaintance. If he’s just some dude you see on occasion through other friends, then who cares? You technically have no moral obligation to adhere to a certain standard or code. If you’re having a hard time deciphering friend from acquaintance, here are my tell-tale signs:
- If you’ve never hung out with someone one-on-one (A.K.A. had a Bro Date) then you aren’t really
- If you don’t have their phone number.
- If you constantly have to ask your other Bros, “What his name again?”
It’s okay to date the ex of a bro who isn’t really a Bro, ya know? Does that make sense?
Now, say you are REALLY Bros with someone. What do you do? How do you justify your traitorous behavior?
I’ll tell you how! You determine whether he and this particular girl were even good together. Let me paint a picture:
There’s a guy and the girl standing in the corner of a crowded bar. The girl looks a little off, and by off I mean 6 gin-and-tonics in the bag. The guy, let’s call him Dave, is holding her cellphone scrolling through all her texts screaming, “Who the fuck is Ron, Allison?! Who THE FUCK IS HE?!” Allison insists for the 100th time that Ron is her landlord who she sometimes flirts with to get an extension on her rent. Dave isn’t buying it….even though Dave has met Ron on numerous occasions. Ron is a 65-year-old Armenian dude with 4 kids. Dave proceeds to drop Allison’s phone is his beer, drink the beer and leaves to go fuck Rachel because he’s actually the cheater.
If THIS is the type of relationship your Bro had with his ex, then you’re doing him a fucking favor. This isn’t to say that either person in the relationship (your Bro or his ex) are bad people, it just means they weren’t good together and maybe you two are. That’s not a crime. Human nature, chemistry, all that shit—it matters.
Last but not least, if he’s a real Bro and his relationship with his ex was solid and not the aforementioned description, then there’s really only one thing left to examine: your relationship with his ex.
It’s possible that you’ve always had feelings for this girl, but had to take a backseat because your Bro stepped in first. It’s also possible that you were the one who introduced them and didn’t realize until they got together how you felt. I know, I know, this all very Rom-Com-esque, but it’s important in justifying your behavior. Ultimately if your relationship with his ex is that of “she’s hot and I want to fuck her,” then it isn’t worth coming between true Broship.
However, if there really is something “deeper” to how you view this girl, then fuck it, you gotta follow your heart. If he’s really your friend, he’ll understand, right? Maybe he’ll punch you in the throat, yeah (that seems more likely), but I’m trying to optimistic and such.
Alright fellas, that’s that. In summary you CAN date a Bros ex if:
He’s not really your Bro, his relationship with his Ex sucked huge balls, or you’ve had genuine feelings for his ex for a long time and have been waiting for your shot.
I’m genuinely interested in hearing about some of your personal experiences with this, so maybe instead of leaving unoriginal memes in the comment section (which you now will do to be spiteful) you can share. Thanks a million!