BREAKING NORTH KOREA NEWS: These Photos Show Kim Jung Un Probably Plucks His Eyebrows Like A Little Bitch
While I try to avoid comparing myself to our very own David Covucci (I mean for fuck’s sake he likes Taylor Swift, and I can’t be associating myself with someone like that, can I?), I have to admit that I share his morbid fascination with North Korea. I don’t know if it’s the rampant abuse of human rights or the fact that their leader’s haircut is something straight out of a Buzzfeed “10 Haircuts That You Should Kill Yourself For Having In The 90’s” listicle, but something about that country just makes me itch in a weird place.
Now that I think about it, you know what it might be? It might be that Kim Jong Un plucks his eyebrows like a fucking idiot, and I don’t mean that plucking your eyebrows makes you an idiot; I mean that he plucks them as if he were a 2-year-old who stumbled into his Mom’s medicine cabinet and decided to go to town on his face with beauty products.
— Sarah Graham (@SarahGrahamHK) January 2, 2015
The mysterious case of Kim Jong Un’s vanishing eyebrows pic.twitter.com/18soDfYvgl
— Jillian Sederholm (@JillianSed) November 16, 2014
So the next time North Korea launches a cyber attack against the United States, you can now think to yourself “Wow, we’re letting ourselves get bullied by THAT guy, a guy so incompetent he can’t even pluck his goddamn eyebrows right.” Winning.