Krispy Kreme And Reese’s Created The Greatest Goddamn Donut Of All Time, But It’s Not For Us, America

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Krispy Kreme


Krispy Kreme is on fire today. First they dropped the donut-hot dog vomitfest for the Wilmington Blue Rocks minor league baseball team to poison their fans with. And now I’ve just learned that they unveiled a Reese’s Peanut Butter donut in the U.K.

The fucking U.K.? Really, Krispy Kreme? It’s like that now?

Well, you know what else is on fire?

My asshole, from this news.

Why do we get the disgusting donut hot dog that looks like it’s caked in dried ejaculate (seriously, look at this thing, it’s jizz city) and the U.K. gets delicious Reese’s donuts? I thought the whole point of these crossover products that fast food companies put out is to release the most vile and idiotic ones to overseas markets so you still make U.S. headlines without pissing us off with a terrible product? Then, when you finally do have a sensational product worthy of American mouths, like, say, a fucking Reese’s donut, you give it to the U.S. exclusively because we’re the biggest and baddest.  If that’s not how things work, it should be.

Go fuck yourself, Krispy Kreme.

[H/T The Daily Meal]