Spitting game is like Olympic gymnastics. You have nail all parts of it in order to get a perfect score AKA play hide the mushroom with the girl you’ve been chatting up. There’s the approach, the initial comment, the follow-up comment, the witty banter, the purchasing of drinks and then, of course, the invitation to Intercourse City. You misstep during any one of those and you’re getting kicked to the curb at Jerking Off Alone City. And that’s a lonely place. I’ve been there.
However, there’s some game that’s much easier to spit than others. Like the one where you offer a woman money to sleep with you because that’s her job. That kind of game is very easy to spit. All you have to do is give her money and you skip over all of the steps between the approach and Intercourse City. It’s like when you find a cheat code in a videogame and get to skip over the hard parts or have a rich dad who can just pay your way into anything, thus skipping over all of the hard parts. Renting a prostitute is pretty much like a vending machine for sex. Which is why I’m having a near impossible time figuring out why this Goldman Sachs employee, named Youssef Kabbaj, was absolutely abysmal at “picking up” a hooker who he had previously rendezvoused with more than once.
Via Business Insider:
Youssef Kabbaj: Hi darling, do you remeber me? Yousef fom london. Just arrived in dubai. Available tonight, with a friend?
Michella: I dont remember u sorry. But where r u staying?
YK: Ritz carlton. We met at emirates tower then mirage. Moroccan restaurant. Moroccan.
M: Yes i remember u.want to meet 2n؛te?
YK: Cool. Michella from media city:))) with pleasure. Where? I am with a friend. We’re on our way to the hotel from the airport. Where do you want to meet? Hotel? Somewhere else?
M: I can come to your hotel you will give me and my friend 1500
YK: 200usd each. For taxi.
M: No 300
YK: Come and we will have a drink and discuss. I missed you
M: I can not do that
YK: Where are you now?
M: I am out but im not coming until there for 200
YK: Ok. Come. You have a deal.
M: 300 ok? And i bring my friend too?
YK: Yes. Your friend has to be as good looking at you.
Real smooth, pal. This is just bananas to me. You’re negotiating a price? I always thought prostitutes were like grocery store items. You pay for the quality and brand that you want. You want the top shelf, crack open that wallet. You want the cheap stuff, use all that money you’re saving to buy a couple extra condoms. Also, who tells a prostitute that they missed them? I feel like that’s the same things as when you come home from a bar at 3 AM pitching a tent and lie to an ex for some company. Otherwise, that’s got to be a massive heartbreaker when she doesn’t remember who you are. “We shared such a special moment!!” “Who are you again?” Maybe that’s why there are so many fish in the sea, so we can keep practicing on the ones we aren’t meant to spend the rest of our lives with. So don’t let her keep you down, YK, you’ll get her next time. Or maybe not, because she sounds expensive and I’m assuming you’re going to lose your job.