LinkedIn Will Start Checking If You’ve Lied On Your Resumé–So I Should Probably Delete ‘NASA Astronaut’ From Mine

I think I can speak for most of us when I say that my resumé is a complete work of fiction. A total fabrication of the truth. Might as well be an R.L. Stine book. But what’s the alternative–the truth? lololol.

“Says here, Matt, that you spend 60% of your day scrolling through Jen Selter’s Instagram while taking a dump. How will this help our corporation’s bottom line in Quarter 3?”

“Yes, sir, I also have a moderate drug problem that will cause tardiness and haziness and will affect my ability to contribute anything to this soulless corporation. P.S. What does ‘bottom line’ mean?”

The truth will only set you free of a job. So I just sit there and claim that I’m ‘highly proficient in Excel,’ even though I just learned the SUM function last Tuesday, and hope the interviewers don’t ask me about my service trip to Ethiopia that I just copy-pasted off a resumé I found on Google.

But those days may be over now that LinkedIn has the ability to call us on our bullshit. The company was recently granted a patent for an “Interactive Fact Checking System” that was developed by inventor and former teacher’s pet, Lucas Myslinski.

According to the patent’s description, the service “automatically monitors, processes, fact checks information, and indicates a status of the information.”

But the good news is that checking every detail on someone’s resumé is a process that is almost impossible to automate. LinkedIn will ultimately need to leverage the system with another technology to improve its practicality.

So until that day comes, I refuse to delete ‘School of Hard Knocks’ from my resumé.

[H/T Daily Dot]

BroBible Newsletter - The best sports and culture news directly to your inbox

* indicates required