This Guy’s Ridiculous List Of Stupid Relationship Deal Breakers Excludes Him From Every Woman On Earth

Alright so I understand excluding women who “write missed connections for people with whom you’ve never spoken with.” That’s just weird and creepy. But why can’t I “wear yoga clothes when not engaging in yoga” or consider bacon important? Bacon = life, asshole. No real man doesn’t eat bacon, and I’m not talking about that turkey bacon bullshit, because frankly that’s reserved only for pussies. Regardless of your views on bacon, one thing is for sure…this guy is never getting laid. Ever.

It’s not surprise this came straight outta OkCupid, aka the very last place people turn to when they finally realize no one’s ever going to love them.

[H/T Twenty Two Words]