You see this shit? He’s like a miniature Justin Timberlake on crack, dancing around like he knows exactly what he’s doing. But me? Whenever I try to dance I look like a crippled penguin with a serious case of Parkinson’s. You might think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. I’ve had venue security come up to me and politely say “You have the option of either leaving or stopping whatever ‘shuffle’ you’re trying to do.” It’s okay though, I’ll just live my dancing life vicariously through this kid instead.