Last year, everything in my bathroom when to crap. Pun intended.
The prognosis was the house is almost eighty years old and things are just breaking, and will continue to break, until things get gutted and fixed. So, gutted and fixed they were, and all of the boards, pipes and guts of the indoor outhouse got carried out of my house like a sorority girl after a Big Sister night.
I was hoping that during the demo the contractor would unearth something worth saving or possibly even a life’s savings that some old man forgot he buried under the lose tile in the corner of the linen closet. The only interesting artifact found during the archeological dig of my upstairs bathroom was an empty pack of Lucky Strikes cigarettes and a book of matches. The pack of smokes looked as if it just came off the printing line. It’s not going to pay for a new car but it was a pretty cool memento of a time way long ago.
Alex Robinson found something much cooler during the renovation of his place in the Charleston section of Boston. Under a floorboard on the first floor, written in cursive, was a message from the guy who either lived in the house decades ago or helped build the place back in 1941.
“I really liked the floors Albert Stella put in, but I wasn’t able to keep them,” said Robinson. “I realized the floors weren’t level, so the only thing to do was pull them up. Lo and behold, I was told to go fuck myself.”
The message, written in pencil, seems to read: “And America at war to fight Germany. Threshold 5/10/41 by Albert Stella this floor was laid. Go fuck yourself.”
This guy got cursed at by a man who doesn’t even exist anymore. Makes my pack of smokes look pretty sad.