Point And Laugh At All These Morons Who Think ‘The Martian’ Was Based On A True Story

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Fox


No, The Martian was not based on a true story – you’re mixing up your space movies. Apollo 13 was based on a true story, which you should know from the start since Tom Hanks is in it. Tom Hanks doesn’t even break wind in the direction of a script if it’s not based on a true story, even if the “based on” loophole means that the whole story was conceived by some kid sitting in a closet eating pudding.

Movie Exec #1: Hey you remember that story you told me about how you came up with this AWESOME idea for a script while you were sitting in a closet eating pudding-
Movie Exec #2: Can you stop bringing that up in front of people we know? Please?
Movie Exec #1: -well what if we made that story into a movie and slapped on the tagline “BASED ON A TRUE STORY” at the end?
Movie Exec #2: How is that based on a true story?
Movie Exec #1: Well you DID eat pudding in a closet so as long as we have that somewhere in the background we’re good. Call up Haley Joel Osment, he looks desperate maybe he’ll go for it pro-bono.

Would it be cool if The Martian WAS based on a true story? Of course! That would mean we’ve sent humans to Mars. But since we haven’t, which means the following people are just morons for thinking otherwise:

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