I Hope To God This Butt Naked Dude Casually Walking Around Nashville Airport Got A Middle Seat

In a day and age when body shaming is the equivalent of capital murder and glaring health concerns like diabetes and heart disease have given way to abstract terms like “feelings” and “self-acceptance,” we should be prepared to see a dude shaped like a trash barrel on stilts with his dick out in a crowded airport. Isn’t this what we prepared for, LENA DUNHAM? Wasn’t this all part of your master plan HUH?! AREN’T YOU PROUD OF THE WORLD YOU’VE CREATED?!

But instead, this social Renaissance Man was put in cuffs in the Nashville Airport and taken to jail for “public indecency,” according to Daily Mail.

A traveler named Tod Brilliant  captured the moment and shared the pictures to Facebook, accompanied with the following caption:

‘So this just happened at Nashville airport,’ Brilliant said in the album’s caption. ‘I walked up to him and said “You’re amazing”. He replied, “Thanks”. Then they came for him.’

I take full credit for the Nic Cage faces covering his ass crack. May be my proudest creative achievement.

According to Daily Mail, this isn’t the first time the man’s been arrested for things of similar nature. Airport officials have reportedly seen him walking outside the airport naked before, but this is the first time he’s ventured into the airport.

You call him a dumpy sociopath shaped like the Michelin Man, I call him our generation’s Rosa Parks. Progress always involves risk. You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first. In 30 years, these arresting officers will have to answer for what they atrocities they’ve committed. #TeamDickOut

[h/t Daily Mail]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.