It’s time for everyone’s favorite game, “What Drug Is This Crazy Person On?”
Your first clue: The man was from California and the event happened in Anaheim.
Your second clue: He is a 21-years-old man named Garrett Smith.
Your third clue: The incident occurred around 11:30 p.m. on Saturday.
Your fourth clue: He was completely naked.
Do you want to take a guess as to what drug this man was on or would you like more clues?
Smart decision to ask for more evidence because based on that information above it could be any drug including a six-pack of Keystone Lights or just a few Sudafed pills.
Your fifth clue: He got stark naked in a field behind an apartment complex and hopped over a fence into the parking lot.
Your sixth very crucial clue: He sprinted as fast as he could and then dove headfirst into the rear window of a Mazda minivan, completely shattering it.
Right here, I’m ruling out antihistamines, alcohol and marijuana due to the extreme level of disregard for his own wellfare and batshit insanity of his actions.
Your seventh clue: Clarisa Vidrio, a woman who was in her parked car next to the now wrecked minivan, was startled by the commotion and attempted to flee the area. She backed up and then pulled forward and that’s when Smith jumped on the hood of her speeding car. She slammed into the already damaged minivan and the nude demolition man was flung to the ground. Vidrio lost control of her car and slammed into a wall and called 911. Despite all of the trauma, Smith was able to run off, but he was apprehended by police a mile away.
He was taken to the hospital and charged with vandalism and resisting arrest. Cops say he was likely under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Great detective work there Rust Cohle.
Despite his hyperactivity, I’m ruling out cocaine. I think what we have here is a classic case of a very, very bad trip off of bath salts. What drug do you think this maniac was on?