We’re Going To Need A Price Check On The Hot Dump This Drunk Guy Took On A Store Scanner

Long lines at a convenience store are the worst, especially when you’ve got to drop anchor. I’ve never thought of taking a dump right in line though. This guy did and took it up a notch.

An “allegedly” drunk Cincinnati man was jailed after stripping naked in front of an employee at a Kroger store and dropping a number 2 on the U-scan machine.

Colin Murphy, 23, was charged with public indecency and disorderly conduct for his actions. According to a court affidavit, Murphy “smelled of alcohol and had slurred speech and staggered walk.”

Murphy was arraigned this morning and was assigned a $2,000 bail. He was also told to stay away from the Kroger’s.

I bet he goes. He don’t give a shit. Or maybe he does and that’s why he’s in this pickle.

[via Cincinnati.com]

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Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.