You’ll Need To Take A Shower After Watching These Redneck Families Brawl At A Demolition Derby

I count three pairs of jorts in this frame alone.

This is a little known fact of the United States judicial system but if there are two or more pairs of jean shorts within a ten yard vicinity of each other, the two owners, by law, are required to fight. I think it may even be written in the fine print of the Constitution. And if one of those pairs happens to be JNCOs, the dude’s wife and/or cousin is required to get involved. If that wife and/or cousin is wearing a XXL Tweety Bird t-shirt, she is obligated to inadvertently show her ass crack while holding a baby in one hard and throwing haymakers with the other. You call these people rednecks? I call them law-abiding Patriots.

P.S. What the fuck is a demolition derby? Nevermind, don’t care.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.