Science Has Created A Blood Test That Tells You When You’re Going To Die Which Will Be In 5…4…3…2…

On one hand, if you knew approximately when you were going to die you could go out and complete your bucket list, or in my case rob a bank with the intent of either getting shot and dying in the process or making off with MILLION AND MILLIONS OF MACAROONZ. Both are suitable as long as my impending death is in the near future, and now that scientists have developed a new blood tests that can predict when people will die, as well as their risk of dementia and “biological age.” According to Metro,

The researchers say that looking at how well your body is aging is more useful than your actual ‘years on the planet’ age. Their new test looks for an ‘aging signature’ in your body’s cells by analysing the behaviour of 150 genes.

Some people, they suggest, age more quickly than others, and so may benefit from screenings for dementia and cancer from an earlier age.

The test was developed by looking at 54,000 gene markers in healthy, but mostly sedentary, 25 and 65 year olds. They narrowed these down to 150 genetic markers which make up what they call “a molecular signature for biological age”.

…The researchers then tested whether this molecular signature could be used to predict how quickly someone was aging. They tested a group of 70-year-old men from Sweden, and were able to predict which of them would die in the following few years.

Although the test doesn’t give any information on HOW to slow your quickly-approaching death (maybe eat less shit and more vegetables, idk), it does indicate “…individuals who may benefit from earlier screenings for age-related issues such as dementia” as well as Alzheimer’s.

[H/T Metro]