Scientists Attempt to Create Real-Life Funnybot, Come Away with Computer That Tells Sh*tty Jokes

He sucks.

The computer is a hack. He leans on sexist and unfunny material, the modern-day equivalent of “Take my wife… PLEASE!” And when he doesn't resemble a feminist doing a bad Adam Carolla impression, he makes miserable attempts at surrealist one-liners. They come off like Steven Wright with head trauma. 

Here are some of his shitty jokes:

I like my women like I like my gas … natural
I like my men like I like my acorns … buried
I like my boys like I like my sectors … bad
I like my men like I like my monoxide – odourless
I like my men like I like my court … superior
I like my coffee like I like my war … cold
I like my relationships like I like my source … open
I like my fish like I like my text … raw
I like my business like I like my fish … small


The scientists explained their Dane Cook-enstein by saying, “Computers have an advantage over people in that they can process masses of information, so we fed computers a wealth of material from which they extracted creative and unusual word combinations to fit our joke template. The holy grail for machine-generated comedy would be to include cultural references, but these are very hard to capture.”

Human comedians will be happy to know: You're safe. Don't worry. The machines are not coming for your jobs anytime soon.

[H/T: The Guardian]

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