I’ve always lived my life according to the following: “plan for the worst, hope for the best.” So, my bros, if you’re hearing any scratches in your head or any noises at all then chances are you’re experiencing the early stages of the same nightmare Li Meng endured. There’s ‘bad luck’ and then there’s ‘holy hell I wouldn’t wish that fortune on my worst enemy’ luck, and Li Meng was stricken with the latter of those two.
After hearing some scratching noises in her head so she went to the doctor to have it checked out, fearing that it might be ‘evil spirits’ trying to enter her mind at night. While that’s a completely outlandish scenario (spirits don’t exist) you need have to consider that this took place in rural China, where not everyone’s living in the 21st century yet. Again, if you’ve ever heard any noises at all inside your head you need to go get that shit checked out RIGHT NOW, because now is when this story takes a serious turn for the worse.
Li Meng had put off calling the doctor at first because she was afraid that the “scratching noise” that she heard at night was possibly evil spirits, Central European News (CEN) reported.
Eventually, the pain became so great that medicine stopped helping, and she consulted doctors at the Xiamen Hospital of Traditional Chinese Medicine, the report said.
“I even went to a temple to pray but it didn’t help,” Meng told CEN.
An ear nose and throat specialist discovered that a spider had been weaving a web in her ear canal. The spider was resting on her eardrum. Each attempt doctors made to remove the spider caused it to react violently, resulting in more pain for Meng.
So, my bros, if you’re hearing any scratching at all in your head then now would maybe be a good time to go ahead and chop that ear off because you probably have a massive spider weaving a web across your ear drums. And I’m not trying to be a little bitch about spiders, I actually don’t fear spiders at all. Growing up in Florida I used to find black widows and brown recluses in the shed behind our house (along with pygmy rattlesnakes and eastern diamondback rattlesnakes). But there’s a SERIOUS DIFFERENCE between being startled by one of these venemous predators from a distance AND having a spider build a goddamn castle inside of your ear drum. When the spiders start burrowing inside of my skull is when I just say ‘fuck it’ and see how much alcohol it’ll take in my bloodstream to drive that spider out.