There’s a New Site That’ll Let You Track How Many Times You Hit It Doggy in 2014

Or missionary, if you are a loser. Loser.

The website is Nipple and it made its debut at South by Southwest (albeit with an extremely ill-advised ad). It’s here to help you keep track of all the screwing, mouth fucking and titty sucking you do, because who has time for a mental catalog of hookups in the go-go 90s of today.

With the app, you can record your partner’s name and whether she likes having a finger in her butt while you go at it, because how embarrassing is it to meet up with a girl for the second time and be like “I can’t remember, are you the girl I hooked up with who likes the finger in her butt? Because if not, I probably should get out of here,  because I’m all about that and I only met up with you because I thought you were the one who liked the finger in her butt.”

That will never happen again with Nipple.

You can also tag your positions, to let yourself know if you are spending too much time with reverse cowgirl when you should be hitting it standing up doggy-style (the best position, obvi).

So yea, use it. Because we all need our own personal FiveThirtyEight in the bedroom.

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[Passed along to me by the charming @BrandonWenerd]