Taco Bell Is Launching High-End Taco Bell

Everyone loves Chipotle. That’s just one of those undeniable aspects of life. As surely as your mother will one day pass and you’ll be forced to bear the funeral expenses, you would be hard pressed to find someone who hates Chipotle.

Not everyone loves Taco Bell. In fact, lots of people consider their menu options to be gross, disgusting sludges that aren’t fit for human consumption.

Now, if you are an executive at Taco Bell, that’s not really an enjoyable reputation to have. However, it’s one that’s damn near impossible to shed. No matter what you do, you won’t get people to associate Taco Bell with hormone-free beef and non-GMO avocados, even if you open up 2,000 separate farms to  each serve an individual Taco Bell.

So what’s a brand to do? Well, Taco Bell is going right at Chipotle by … opening a Chipotle. Of course, it isn’t called Chipotle. That would be both stupid and confusing. It’s called U.S. Taco Co. and Urban Taproom. But it’s Chipotle. For tacos.

Just look at the menu.

On U.S. Taco Co.’s menu are offerings like the “Winner Winner,” which features Southern-style fried chicken breast with “SOB,” or “South of the Border” gravy, roasted corn pico de gallo with fresh jalapenos and fresh cilantro in a flour tortilla.

The “One Percenter” features fresh lobster in garlic butter with red cabbage slaw and pico de gallo on crispy fry bread.

The “Brotherly Love,” is a nod to the Philly Cheesesteak, with carne asada steak, grilled peppers and onions, roasted poblano queso and cotija cheese (rather than Cheez Whiz), and fresh cilantro in a flour tortilla.

On the side: “papas fritas,” which resemble steak fries, coated with habanero dust and dipped in housemade sauces such as ghost chile ketchup or roasted poblano crema.

Oh, and it will serve craft beer because that’s what the millennials are drinking and heaven forbid every fucking aspect of society isn’t tailored to their precise desires.

Also, circling back, the name of this concept is United States Taco Company. Hundreds of people were paid millions of dollars and they came up with United States Taco Company.

The first location will open this summer in Huntington Beach, CA.

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[H/T Slate]