We all know people, hell, some of us are those people, who when we drink we think that we suddenly develop some sort of magical superpower. You know what I mean. Have a few pops and suddenly someone (you) thinks that you can do anything. You’re goddamn invincible, baby!
Well, as it turns out, apparently when some people drink they DO actually have a few things that they are better at than when they are sober.
Here are just a few of the heroic* acts that have been fueled by alcohol…
(*Not heroic at all. Well, maybe a couple.)
Hearing the same fucking story for the 6th time without piledriving my friends through a table. ~ kirolm
There is a point, picture it like on the the tip of a mountain, that I reach when buzzed when I am fucking brilliant. I am creative and articulate and a wonderful listener. I come up with lyrics, and little stories that are brilliant. As soon as I say them I forget them.
But it doesn’t last because I pour another and I slide down the mountain. ~ Bodymindisoneword
I discovered I was a great programmer drunk my junior year. I came home from the bar late Thurs night/Fri morning only to realize I had programming homework I forgot I had, due at 8am. When I got it back the following week I had an A on it. Previous assignments, I was consistently getting C’s. Did most of my big programming projects with a pack of beer after that. ~ Vew
I’m best at pool after three drinks.
1 drink=slightly less terrible
2 drinks=hey, I’m getting better at this
3 drinks=maybe I should start putting money on this game
4 drinks=I’m getting worse at this
5 drinks=now I think I’m a good dancer! ~ Internet_Validation
Beer pong. Somehow the alcohol improves my balance and coordination when it comes to playing beer pong. ~ OberynnMartell
About ten years ago I was shitfaced at a bowling alley and rolled 3 games in the mid 200’s. I was approached afterwards by another drunk guy and asked if I would join his team for league nights. I figured ‘why the hell not?’
League night rolls around and I show up sober. Can’t remember what that guy looks like because I was too drunk. Out if nowhere I’m approached by a guy flashing gang signs. Or so I thought… It was him. The guy that wanted me to bowl on his team. He was deaf. The whole team was deaf. Apparently I was slurring so bad during our previous encounter that he thought I was deaf too.
So there’s me. Sober and definitely NOT deaf. Proceeded to bowl in the 80-90 range while a very confused team looked on. I finished my 3 games, packed my shit, and never returned to that bowling alley. ~ i_am_lukes_father
Languages. Three beers, and I’m suddenly fluent in French. ~ GrumpyOldVaper
Jumping off balconies when I hear $20 even though the money nor the dare was intended for me. Bastard never paid me my money either. Had a nice nice life reflection on the ground after the jump though. ~ DJSwindleDeez
Socializing. But only to a degree. Past of certain point of drunkenness I misread social signals and just do stupid shit. ~ beccaonice
Apparently when I’m drunk I can make really witty or insightful comments. My roommates are mystified by this. One minute im on the verge of black out drunk, the next I chime in a conversation they had no idea I was listening to, say something profound then I’m out again like it never happened. ~ marie81688
Unassisted speed run of Super Mario World. I’ve done it in 22 minutes drunk, a feat which I can’t replicate sober. ~ wnp
Cooking. Instead of following recipes to the letter, I start getting a bit loose with my seasonings, spices etc. 1 1/2 tsp crushed garlic? slops some amount in close enough.
Then I start getting creative, throwing in a bit of this and that. Allspice? Shit why not. The result is almost always a delicious meal* that I always struggle to make again, at least not as good as it was the first time.
*Alcohol has been known to alter perception of taste. ~ Josecholas
The Carlton dance. ~ SixInchesAtATime
Sex. I am ten times more confident and kick ass. Downside? I turn into a lesbian when I am drunk so I am good at sex but good at sex with girls.
Odd thing is that when I am sober I am only into men. ~ 123456_789
Texting my exes I love them at 3 in the morning. ~ Taftical
I think we’re ALL better at that one when we’re drunk.
Check out the rest of the responses and the always riveting comments over at Reddit.
Men at a bar image by Shutterstock