This Family’s Brutal Obituary Is A Good Reminder To Not Be An Asshole During Your Time On Earth

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It’s pretty important to not be an asshole during your precious, mortal time on earth. Like, super important. Because if you’re an asshole, you’ll always be remembered as an asshole, even by the ones you think are your loved ones in thick and thin. For example, note the legacy of Galveston’s “Leslie Ray ‘Popeye’ Charping, who passed away after losing a battle with cancer that was “ultimately due to being the horses ass he was known for,” his family writes.

The family’s obit is the most brutal obit you’ll ever read. They really hated ole Popeye.

“At a young age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive.  Leslie enlisted to serve in the Navy, but not so much in a brave & patriotic way but more as part of a plea deal to escape sentencing on criminal charges.  While enlisted, Leslie was the Navy boxing champion and went on to sufficiently embarrass his family and country by spending the remainder of his service in the Balboa Mental Health Hospital receiving much needed mental healthcare services.

Here is the obit in full for old Leslie, who the family claims “life served no other obvious purpose.” Ouch. That stings.

“Leslie Ray ‘Popeye’ Charping was born in Galveston on November 20, 1942 and passed away January 30, 2017, which was 29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved.  Leslie battled with cancer in his latter years and lost his battle, ultimately due to being the horses ass he was known for.  He leaves behind 2 relieved children; a son Leslie Roy Charping and daughter, Shiela Smith along with six grandchildren and countless other victims including an ex wife, relatives, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses and random strangers.

“At a young age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive.  Leslie enlisted to serve in the Navy, but not so much in a brave & patriotic way but more as part of a plea deal to escape sentencing on criminal charges.  While enlisted, Leslie was the Navy boxing champion and went on to sufficiently embarrass his family and country by spending the remainder of his service in the Balboa Mental Health Hospital receiving much needed mental healthcare services.

“Leslie was surprisingly intelligent, however he lacked ambition and motivation to do anything more than being reckless, wasteful, squandering the family savings and fantasizing about get rich quick schemes.  Leslie’s hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing, which he was less skilled with than the previously mentioned.  Leslie’s life served no other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick whited sarcasm which was amusing during his sober days.

“With Leslie’s passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend.  No services will be held, there will be no prayers for eternal peace and no apologizes to the family he tortured.  Leslie’s remains will be cremated and kept in the barn until ‘Ray,’ the family donkey’s wood shavings run out.  Leslie’s passing proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all.”

Brandon Wenerd avatar
Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's publisher and founding partner, overseeing partnerships and content on all channels in Los Angeles. A graduate of Penn State, he loves live music, Phish, the Grateful Dead, Philly sports, and adventures of all kinds. He can be reached at brandon@brobible.com