I spent this past weekend at TomorrowWorld down in Chattahoochee Hills, Georgia, and there’s only one phrase out of the whole English language I can use to summarize the whole experience:
As I’m sitting here typing this I can’t even explain to you how amazing the whole experience was, not because I’m stupid and don’t know how to use words (durr), but because there was just so much fucking awesome packed into one weekend that anything I try to say will just fail miserably. Even the word “awesome” doesn’t adequately describe TomorrowWorld. Regardless, I’ll sit here and do my best to tell you why you need to get your ass down there and start raging your face off, pronto.
1. There is not a single douchebag in attendance.
Are some of the people in attendance assholes? Probably, but only in “real life.” TomorrowWorld is not real life, and everyone there is pumped as fuck to be there which means no one is a dick.
2. Don’t have any friends?
Doesn’t matter, you’ll make friends with anyone and everyone around you. Even if you’re an antisocial troll like myself, people will walk up and start a conversation with you because they like your shirt, and then 20 minutes later the two of you will stroll into the festival and start freaking out to Carnage together, as if you’d known them for years.
3. You can be (almost) naked.
It is the only time in your life that being 99% naked in public is acceptable.
4. You can stare at (almost) naked people.
It is the only time in your life that staring at people who are 99% naked in public is acceptable.
6. Don’t like big room house? No problem.
Fine, go visit a trance stage. Don’t like trance? Okay go find Diplo, he’s bee-bopping around somewhere. Don’t like Diplo? Walk ten feet to your left and you’ll find a dubstep stage. There’s something for EVERYONE here.
7. Don’t like giant crowds? No problem.
If you ever get sick of being in a giant crowd you can go chill on the hill in front of the main stage and watch the show from there. Honestly, you get a better view of the fireworks and laser lights from there anyway.
8. No one gives a flying fuck what you do, as long as you’re not hurting anyone else.
Wanna run around in a giant Teletubby costume photobombing people? Go for it. Think that spraying a giant rave crowd with a Super Soaker sounds like a good time to you? Do it. It’s all in good fun.
9. They’re not trying to yolk you for all the money you have.
It’s not one of those cashless festivals where they’re trying to nickel and dime you for all you’re worth. Sure drinks are expensive, but they’re not doing some bullshit to you where you can only upload $9.00 at a time onto your wristband and the cheapest thing you can buy is beer, which costs $9.50. So that means if you put $45 onto your wristband you’re going to be stuck with a useless $7 after buying 4 beers that you can’t use on anything. Yeah, TomorrowWorld doesn’t play these stupid math games with your money.
10. Eating on a budget?
Speaking of spending money, you can bring your own food if you chose to camp in Dreamville, which means you could potentially go the entire weekend without spending a single extra dollar because you managed to live off of the hotdogs, potato chips and Nutella that you brought with you.
11. Do you like food? Because I like food.
There’s really no reason why you wouldn’t want to buy the food there though since it’s pretty good, especially since the chances of you contracting scurvy after an entire weekend of eating hotdogs is pretty high. If I said that I ate chicken tenders and fresh fruit from the TomorrowWorld vendors for an entire weekend and don’t have any regrets, I wouldn’t be lying.
12. The entire venue is fucking beautiful.
You like grassy fields? You got ‘em. You like ponds? You got ‘em. You like walking across ponds while glowing neon water spouts spurt everywhere on either side of you? You’ve come to the right place.
13. There is no such thing as “cold” when you have an explosive volcano erupting fire every 10 minutes in front of you.
Sure it gets cold at night which can kind of be a boner killer when you’ve spent all day running around in shorts and a tank top, but the temperature is literally irrelevant when you’re raging face at the main stage and then FIRE STARTS ERUPTING OUT OF THE TOP OF THE STAGE. You can feel the heat from at least a half-mile away, I shit you not.
14. Don’t wanna blow $300 staying at a hotel for the entire weekend?
No worries, staying in Dreamville is only $75 if you bring your own camping gear, and if you’re a hobo like me that’s so much more worth it.
15. Not sold on camping in Dreamville?
Not only is it literally five feet away from all of the concert stages, but everyone in there is chill as shit. My entire time there I saw not one fight break out, not one person judge someone else for what they were wearing, and whenever someone needed help with putting a tent up or if someone realized they forgot a tarp for their canopy people were always willing to help out.
16. The security guards there aren’t power-tripping dicks.
They’re not going to knock you down and give you a cavity search just because you looked at them funny. I can genuinely say that they were there just to make sure everyone was safe, which is really something commendable considering that at other festivals it feels like they’re there just for the sole purpose of throwing everyone in jail for shits and kicks.
17. Everyone there can handle their shit.
The festival is 21+, which means you don’t have little 18-year-olds bee bopping around screaming about nothing in particular and passing out in the dirt 20 minutes after they got there.
18. You know how some festivals kinda skimp out on the fireworks?
Yeah, TomorrowWorld doesn’t. You’ll see so many fireworks during the shows you’ll begin to wonder if the company who runs the festival has stock in them or something.
19. Are you weird and don’t like fireworks?
More of an exploding confetti and streamers kind of person? Don’t worry, they’ve got that covered too, and it happens everywhere you go. I’m not kidding, you can’t escape fireworks and exploding streamers.
20. It doesn’t matter how old you are, you can still go.
Personally, I’m 21. Our Dreamville neighbors were 28 and I met people who were 45. No one’s going to to give the guy who has grey hair a weird look, you know why? Because everyone’s there for the same reason: to have the best fucking time of their lives.
tl;dr: see y’all next year fuckers. Meow.
[Images via Steven Buchko, Stefani Graf, Lucas Jennings and Daniel Tobias]