Some Guy Called The Cops Because A Woman Allegedly Assaulted Him With Her Breasts

guy assaulted by womans breasts


Not sure how this is a crime, but a 28-year-old man in Athens, Georgia called the cops on a woman who he says assaulted him with her breasts. The reason for the alleged assault? Because she got out of line and he wouldn’t let her back in. Seriously.

The 28-year-old man behind her moved up to the counter to pay for his purchases, he told police. But when the woman came back, she was irritated the man had moved ahead of her, and she let him know.

There was a verbal disagreement inside the Lexington Road Marathon store early Monday. Then, it spilled outside the store, according to the police report.

“He told me that when they went outside of the store, the female bumped him with her breasts and threatened to beat him up,” the report states. “He indicated that he felt he was assaulted.”

Wait, did he call “no cutsies” when she tried to get back into line? Because if he didn’t then he really has no case.

Sadly for the man she left the gas station before police arrived and he didn’t get her license number. Police were later able to identify her, but as of Wednesday night no charges had been filed… because it’s stupid.

(Unless she was our new favorite Playboy model Lindsey Pelas, in which case he had every right to be scared for his life.)

H/T Uproxx; Breasts image by Shutterstock