Woman Stabs Boyfriend In The Dick Because He Ate All The Salsa

by 4 years ago

Phyllis Jefferson doesn’t like salsa. Phyllis Jefferson FUCKING LOVES SALSA!!!

We take you to Ohio where one woman’s passion for salsa turned into a pain in the dick for her boyfriend. According to police, 50-year-old Phyllis Jefferson attacked her boyfriend, 61-year-old Ronnie D. Buckner, because he had eaten all of her salsa. Seems reasonable because salsa is a 9-minute drive to the grocery store and costs $3.29 for an entire jar.

On Sunday evening, upon discovering that all of the salsa was gone, Phyllis stabbed her boyfriend in the dick with a pen. That will put some lead in your pencil, err ink in your pen.

Buckner called 911 and by the time police arrived, Phyllis had fled the crime scene. Responding police officers found Buckner on the floor with stab wounds on his dick from the Bic.

Buckner and his inky dick were brought to the hospital and treated for injuries considered non life-threatening. On the plus side, he can now jot a quick note or sign something just by ejaculating.

The salsa enthusiast was arrested later that day when highway officers pulled her over. Phyllis admitted that she stabbed her boyfriend in the groin, and was charged with felonious assault and criminal damages.

She should have just explained to cops that it was a personal matter and “Nacho business.”