Women Are Buying More Hookers Now Than Ever

Hey! Go equality.

The world of purchasing prostitutes for a night of no-strings-attached screwing (well, no-strings-attached until the wife finds out am I right, guys? #women #nag) used to be solely dominated by men.

Men, men, men. Buying us some hookers.

But that’s changing. Now, according to new research, women are paying for sex too. Which, good. Not only have male prostitutes long been an underemployed constituency in society, if women are doing it, it means there’s nothing wrong with it, right? Right? From The Mirror:

More British women than ever are paying for sexual services because they are too busy for conventional relationships, new research claims.

Sure, that’s Britain, but that’s basically America, you know. I think.

And some women want more for their money than just straight sex and are prepared to pay for the companionship of men, as well as their time in the bedroom.

Hahahaha no. You pay them to leave. That’s the whole point of paying them. Once you pay them they leave. If they don’t leave when you pay them, and they stay for lunch, then that’s just … I don’t know. A shittily imbalanced relationship.

But regardless, why are women finally coming around to this transactional view of sex?

“Our participants say most of the women who buy sex are professional people, some of whom may simply want pleasurable sexual experiences.”

“Paying an escort is described as a way of ensuring discretion, as opposed to other ways of securing sexual encounters. Some female clients also seem to not want or have the time for a ‘conventional’ relationship.”

“Some women also pay for more than just sexual intercourse,” the doctor continued. “They might go for a drink or meal with their chosen escort and want a massage before progressing onto sexual contact – which escorts describe as the ‘boyfriend experience’.

Silly, silly, silly. That’s valuable pre- and post-coital me time you are missing out. Still, this is a good step forward. We should all be buying more prostitutes.