These Stories Of The Worst Places People Have Puked Will Have Your Stomach Doing Flips

Sometimes, either when too much booze is involved or a nasty bug has taken root in your system, you have no choice but to just blow chunks regardless of where you are.

I dare say there are very few among us who have NOT thrown up somewhere where we would have preferred to not have done it. But hey, it happens.

That being said, these people over on “Ask Reddit” who shared their tales of the worst places they’ve ever thrown up? They win ALL the awards for nastiness.

Was at the birthday party of a girl I was crushing on around the 4th grade. I was pretty sick the night before but I foolishly decided to attend the party anyway.

I threw up on the birthday cake while everyone was singing “happy birthday.” ~ MrMandu

Sushi restaurant with a coworker having lunch. I sneezed and caused a piece of wasabi to fly into my sinus cavity. My pain threshold was almost instantly maxed out and I ended up spewing yellowtail all over the table in front of me. From an outside perspective it looked something like this.




And as you turn around to looks you see a loudly crying and vomiting man trying to get up and get to the restroom as fast as possible. ~ ChorroVon

On a guys dick.

I guess it worked out okay though since I really didn’t want to see him anymore but also didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Haven’t heard from him since. ~ Muffinizer1

As a teenager, I used to walk to work in a very small town. I threw up on the sidewalk, and I had to walk by it for months before the sparse summer rains washed it away. It was to late, the acid had burned a mark in the sidewalk, and I had to see the outline everytime I walked by there. .. for years. ~ wsumommy

Airplane bathroom, I lost my balance during the act and ended up spewing all over the bathroom floor and walls. Felt really bad about it but I was so embarrassed that I noped out of there as fast as I could and pretend that like someone else had done it and I was leaving in disgust. ~ ANuclearNarwhal

I was about 13 weeks pregnant and ate a yogurt about 10 minutes before leaving the house. I was outside a shop heading to my car. I felt the sickness coming and tried to hide between my car and the car beside me to secretly throw up. I never made it and threw up all over the back window of the guys car. It looked like bird poo. Fuck knows how! Unfortunately the guy came out just as I perked up and he screamed ‘what the fucking fuck!?” So I told him “yeah bunch of geese just flew over this way. Disaster man!” And quickly drove away.. ~ Littlebearpaige

One time I decided to drink a whole bottle of Vodka at home after discovering the girl I liked was moving away. Ended up throwing up over my pillow and then falling asleep on it. Mom was not proud of me then. ~ ExoHuman15

In high school I ran and won for student body president. Five seconds after they announced my glorious victory I threw up all over the stage. ~ nomen_heroicos

My brother threw up into a heating vent once. Fucking disgusting smell. ~ Obnoxious_username1

While deployed to Afghanistan, my first time ever in a helicopter, surrounded by other soldiers, and all of our bags filing up the area in between us. In order to avoid throwing up on anyone else or on people’s bags… I just threw up inside my flak vest… we still had another half hour before we landed… ~ Arkadi86

Church. I was an altar boy and was going to lead the procession during the busiest mass that Sunday. As soon as the processional music started I yakked on the carpet between the lobby and the church itself.

My sister thanked me for getting her out of church that day. ~ EZE16lg

I had a girl throw up in my mouth in college when we were making out. We were both pretty drunk and it took me a second to realize what just happened but it was a really disgusting feeling. She was incredibly embarrassed and left my room. ~ -eDgAR-

The middle of Hot Topic. We were christmas shopping and I had a migraine. I thought I’d be able to make it out of the store and across the food court, but I did not. It did not help that all I had eaten that morning was blue Fruit Rollups and blue Kool-aid. ~ gracefulwing

Into my surgical mask while in the operating room. It wasn’t much and I’m pretty sure only the anesthesiologist noticed I was having an intimate encounter with my stomach contents, but it was still one of the most disgusting things ever. Got in my beard and everything. Ah, to be a student again… ~ Klyphtun

60 feet underwater blowing chunks straight through my SCUBA regulator. ~ wtfclem

Check out the rest of the terrible tales of vomiting over at Reddit.

Vomiting pumpkin image by Shutterstock

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Before settling down at BroBible, Douglas Charles, a graduate of the University of Iowa (Go Hawks), owned and operated a wide assortment of websites. He is also one of the few White Sox fans out there and thinks Michael Jordan is, hands down, the GOAT.