How to make amazing Bacon-Wrapped Eggs

by 7 years ago
Colin Joliat

Colin Joliat


 

Why eat bacon and eggs when you can have bacon IN eggs? This might be the best breakfast you’ll ever make, and it’s a whole lot easier than trying to not screw up an omelet.

This isn’t my first rodeo with Bacon-Wrapped Eggs. I found the recipe over two years ago and made a proclamation by which I still stand. Self quote!:

I will immediately propose to the first woman, or man, to bring me these. Yes, I do have a girlfriend, but I think she’ll understand. She’s taking the Bar Exam next Tuesday, so you probably have until at least Thursday before she’ll have a chance to make a play for the ring. Just bake them, come to Chicago, and ask around for me. I’m known from coast to coast like butter and toast, so someone will know where to find me.

The offer still stands, and you don’t even have that pesky girlfriend with whom to compete.

Colin Joliat

Colin Joliat


 

You want the widest strips of bacon you can find. Wide like an ass. Not thick like a… brick. You want it cover as much of the muffin cup as possible.

I’m not big on goat cheese because I’m not an elitist eater, but it’s unbelievably good and you should absolutely use it. Just don’t hold your fork with your pinky out, or I’m coming over to your house and taking away your bacon wrapped eggs privileges.

Colin Joliat

Colin Joliat


 

Cooking bacon in the oven is so absurdly easy. I should have been doing it this entire time. You can make it just as crispy and doesn’t require constant flipping.

In this case, crispy bacon is the enemy. The bacon needs to be just about cooked but still entirely pliable. Last time I checked it’s tough to curl crispy bacon into a ring without breaking it, but if you’ve got a way, by all means hot shot.

Colin Joliat

Colin Joliat


 

Ever wonder from where these glorious tips come? I learn them by screwing it up. You can probably tell that my bacon is narrow and over cooked. Don’t worry, I saw Hurt Locker. I’m happy to walk through the mine field first so you can stroll on through without a care in the world.

Wrap the bacon around the edge of each muffin cup and cover the bottom with smaller pieces. Add an egg. Top with cheese and whatever herbs you want. Not that herb though. This isn’t what people mean when they say wake and bake.

Colin Joliat

Colin Joliat


 

This is how it should look before going in the oven. You’re probably not going to be in the running for faux chef of the year if it doesn’t. That’s not a real award, but maybe I’ll start it just for those of you actually trying to replicate these Guyism Grill creations.

Colin Joliat

Colin Joliat


 

When you finally pull your bacon wrapped eggs out of the oven they will magically have moved out of the muffin tray and onto penguin plates. That’s how easy cooking can be. Oh, you don’t have penguin plates? Then I guess you’ll have to scoop them out with a spoon after running a knife around the outside. Sucks to be you.

Whether or not you can eat these bacon wrapped eggs by hand will be based on how long you cooked them. 15 minutes will have the yolks just barely solidified, which is ideal in this case. Throw on some Sriracha, unless you hate fun, and start destroying your beautiful creation.

Ingredients:

  • All the bacon.
  • Hen house of eggs.
  • Whatever cheese you want, think for yourself for once, damnit.
  • An herb garden.

Instructions:

  1. Line a baking sheet with foil.
  2. Arrange bacon slices on the foil
  3. Place the baking sheet on the center rack of a cold oven.
  4. Turn oven on to 400°F. Break the wrist and walk away.
  5. Come back 12 minutes later and check if bacon is cooked but still pliable.
  6. Drain on paper towel.
  7. Alternative to steps 1-6: “Make Bacon.”
  8. Line muffin cups with bacon slices, coving bottom with small chuncks.
  9. Crack an egg into each cup.
  10. Add cheese on top.
  11. Sprinkle with herbs.
  12. Bake until set, approx 15 min.
  13. Free from shackles of muffin cup with knife and remove.
  14. Eat.
  15. Wait for proposal from whomever you made these for.
  16. Think about it for awhile.
  17. Have another Bacon-Wrapped Egg.
  18. Say yes.

Check out more marriage-worthy food from the Guyism Grill


TAGSBaconbacon wrapped eggsbreakfast recipeguyism grillThe Library