A Letter to the Head Coach of USC Football
Dear Mr. Lane
If you want to understand the definition of hate,
Lose the home opener to Washington State.
Just two games in and the year’s down the drain
While the chants and the hashtags say: #FireLane.
As a former student and a current alum
I think Layla is hot and I think that you’re dumb.
Third and thirteen I’ll replay the scene
What play did you call? Bubble screen!
In fact you ran that every single play
Resulting in 54 pass yards by the end of the day.
Who the hell is our QB you can’t even choose
Honestly all you’ve done in four years is lose.
Last year for example we were ranked number one
All the talent at your fingers for a BCS run.
Barkley came back with both Woods and Lee
Three amazing receivers for Redd to run free.
Then we lost to the Bruins and then Notre Dame
You suck as human change your first name to Lame.
We went to the Sun Bowl and finished seven and six
Running a terrible offense that made everyone sick.
You deserve to get fired or be locked in a shed
Have you ever even covered a god damn spread?
My expectations for this season, yes they are low
Because as a coach and a leader Lane, you blow.
A potential year of redemption is already cursed
You turned the best team in football to one of the worst.
The Trojan Family