The Atlanta Hawks are up 2-0 over the Boston Celtics in the opening round of the NBA playoffs and if you’re the superstitious type, part of their success must be due to their mascot Harry the Hawk wrecking his junk on a nightly basis.
Here are a couple angles of last night’s cringe-inducing incident:
According to a couple different sources, this isn’t anything new. Harry’s been crushing his nuts for years…
That leads me to believe that the person behind the bird isn’t a dude, which is more common that you’d think. I once hooked up with a chick who was the mascot at Muhlenberg. Their mascot was a Mustang. I’m not a zoologist but I’m pretty sure that’s generally seen as a dude horse. Why else would you have the Lady Mustangs?
I also worked at Sesame Place in Langhorne, PA and while I was holding down the fort in Guest Relations (*cue porn score*), some white trash dad was beating the chocolate chips out of the Cookie Monster. Guess who was inside that costume? A teenaged girl. Even for white trash, that has to hurt your ego.
If it’s not a female in that thar suit, then it’s either a guy who’s into some serious BDSM like Chuck Roades on Billions or he’s like the eunuch from Game of Thrones. Either way, is this what mascoting has come to? Self-mutilation? Goddam Atlanta upping the ante for crowd support and sympathy.