Ball Boy Trips And Face Plants Behind Maria Sharapova And I Cannot Stop Watching

Poor Billy. I don’t know if that’s his name, but it definitely is. Poor bastard was so hyped for his first day on the job, he went to sleep in his tennis shoes. He had dreams of holding that umbrella over Maria so she was shielded from every ray of sunlight. Maria would then turn around and say “You’re really good at holding an umbrella….and you’re kinda cute.” Probably woke up with a chubby. So to have a showing like this, to eat shit in front of your celebrity crush, has to be something that Billy will take to his grave. You don’t take a dive on national television and swallow a mouthful of clay to forget about it. Might as well be etched on his tombstone.

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The face of the only dude who enjoyed Billy’s face plant more than I did:

Go home, Billy. You’re drunk.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.