Here’s Our Official Opening Day Drinking Game

Baseball is back. Drinking never went away. Let’s combine the two and make this the best Opening Day you won’t remember.

Quick, to the game before I accidentally quote another Pitball song.

One (1) drink for every:

  • Base-hit
  • Run
  • Strikeout

Two (2) drinks for every:

  • Home run
  • Error
  • Double play
  • Botched hit-and-run
  • Instance of creepy camera work to find babes in the bleachers
  • Comment about insane contracts signed in the offseason
  • Discussion of the Yasiel Puig situation
  • Announcer claiming to love ballpark food
  • Kid in crowd picking nose
  • Lame joke that a player who is 1-for-1 is batting 1.000 on the year

Three (3) drinks for every:

  • Announcer actually eating ballpark food on-air
  • Suicide squeeze
  • Out recorded past the fifth inning of a no-hitter
  • Triple
  • Steal
  • Successful hit-and-run
  • Intentional walk
  • Comment by announcer about how good it is that baseball’s back

Four (4) drinks for every:

  • Reference to the World Baseball Classic (be careful)
  • Overblown praise for Derek Jeter
  • Mention of Bryce Harper
  • Use of the phrase “flashing the leather”
  • Allusion to the use of bunting as a decoration
  • Time Stephen Strasburg’s pitch count is discussed
  • Overly theatrical strike three call from an umpire
  • Blown call by an umpire

Chug a beer for every:

  • Bench-clearing brawl
  • Manager or player ejection
  • Inside-the-park home run

[Image via Charles LeClaire/USA Today Sports]