The One Thing You Should Eat At Every Major League Baseball Ballpark This Season: National League Edition

After giving you dudes the low down on what to eat at every American League ballpark yesterday, today I focus on the National League, which proves that they’re creative delicacies are even wilder than the AL’s.

With baseball season the best time of year to get to the ballpark, drink some beer, catch a game and eat as unhealthy as possible, here’s the one thing you need to try when visiting these NL stadiums—and they all look freakin’ amazing.

NL Central

Chicago Cubs: Hot Doug’s The Barry Foote

Nothing says Chicago like a little sausage, so what better way to catch a Cubbies game in the bleachers of Wrigley Field than taking down The Barry Foote, which is a hot dog that comes with everything you would want.

Named after the former Cubs catcher, it’s corned beef sausage topped with Russian dressing, shredded Swiss cheese and sauerkraut.

Cincinnati Reds: The Bacon

You guys, forget all of these cute names that try to disguise what really comes on a sandwich, hot dog or pizza, because the Cincinnati Reds are giving it to us straight, releasing The Bacon this season—and, as you’d imagine, it doesn’t mess around when it comes to pork.

It’s actually a challenge that the Reds are offering for fans, as it’s four sandwiches that includes a pound of bacon on each, with fans trying to eat all four in an inning.

For those keeping score at home, that’s four pounds of bacon in one inning. It’ll set you back $60, but, should you conquer the mighty beast, you to get a t-shirt, so that’s something to look forward to as you stuff yourself with pig.

Milwaukee Brewers: The Jalapeño Popper Dog

Made from local hot dog and topped with cheese sauce, fried jalapeno and stuffed between a sausage roll, the Milwaukee Brewers’ Jalapeño Popper Dog looks like a joy to eat.

It also looks like the perfect thing to pair with one of the many different beers that Miller Park has on draught, making the pairing about as Milwaukee as someone can get without completely talking with that Midwestern accent of theirs.

Pittsburgh Pirates: Cracker Jack & Mac Dog

The Pittsburgh Pirates have turned their luck around by reaching the playoffs in each of the last three years, and they’re winning over fans this season with a hot dog that’s truly one-of-a-kind: The Cracker Jack & Mac Dog.

Served on pita bread, this foot-long dog is actually covered with macaroni and cheese and then, because the Bucs are wild, topped with Cracker Jacks to add some sweetness and then jalapenos for some spice.

It might sound nuts, but I actually want to try this thing.

St. Louis Cardinals: Meatball-Filled Bread Cone

Who says only scoops of ice cream can be served in a cone? Not the St. Louis Cardinals, because they’re selling meatballs in a bread cone this year that is sure to fill up fans during a trip to Busch Stadium.

As unique/ridiculous an item as you’ll ever see at a baseball stadium, the recipe calls for four meatballs stuffed into an Italian bread cone and topped with both mozzarella and parmesan cheeses.

Sounds… interesting.

NL East

Atlanta Braves: Burgerizza

In the history of the universe, only stoned college kids imagined a world where a pizza would serve as the bun for a hamburger. Not anymore.

Thanks to the Atlanta Braves, the Burgerizza was born and actually put on the menu at Turner Field this season, combining two of the greatest things ever created into one massive (heart attack) sandwich.

If a 20-ounce beef patty covered with five slices of cheese, topped with bacon and served between two eight-inch pepperoni pizzas doesn’t sound tasty, I don’t know what does.

Miami Marlins: Miami Mex Taco Dog

Nothing describes the city of Miami like a little spice and flavor, so the Marlins are bringing that mentality to one of its food items this season, introducing the Miami Mex Taco Dog for fans to scarf down.

A footlong frank with chili con carne, Monterey Jack cheese, shaved cilantro cabbage, jalapeno-lime aioli and fresh salsa makes this dog a five-tool player in the world of ballpark food.

Oh, and it’s wrapped in a tortilla, too, because, why not?

New York Mets: Peanut Butter Pretzel Coated Thick Cut Bacon On A Stick

You know how people drown their sorrows in sweets after failed relationships or ways to cope when something bad happens? Seems like last year’s World Series runners up, the New York Mets, are using that same tactic to get over their loss, because they released an incredibly sweet option this year: a Peanut Butter Pretzel Coated thick Cut Bacon on a stick.

There’s really no explanation needed here, is there? It’s a piece of thick bacon on a stick, covered in peanut butter and pretzel. Incredible.

Philadelphia Phillies: Amish Turkey Burger

Forget everything you ever knew about turkey burgers, bros, because the Amish Turkey Burger at Citizens Bank Park bucks the trend from all those who think the things lack taste or pizazz.

Sure, it’s a little less gluttonous than a normal beef patty, but it still includes the absolute most, with the fresh ground turkey patty being topped with sharp cheddar and shallot marmalade for a real explosion of flavor.

Don’t worry, we don’t tell anyone else that you actually prefer it over a normal beef burger.

Washington Nationals: Pinch Dumplings and Haute Dogs and Fries

Everyone always talks about eating and supporting local businesses, so why not do that while at the ballpark, too? That’s exactly what Nationals fans can do this season after the team announced that two local companies, Pinch Dumplings and Haute Dogs and Fries, were the winners of the Pitch Your Product competition, allowing them to serve it up in Nationals Park.

Whether fans prefer handmade Chinese dumplings like pork, chicken or beef, or a gourmet hot dog is up to them, but I’d imagine both of them will be good options.

NL West

Arizona Dimaondbacks: Cheeseburger Dog

Have you ever wondered what a foot-long hot dog would taste like if it combined chargrilled hamburgers with bacon, green peppers and cheese, then was deep-fried? If so, the Cheeseburger Dog at Chase Field is what you want.

Sure, the thing might give you a heart attack, but isn’t that just a small price to pay for enjoying this one-of-a-kind dish? Diamondbacks fans will be the judge of that.

Colorado Rockies: Rocky Mountain Oysters

One might not think of Denver, Co. when they imagine good oysters, but, then again, that’s not exactly what Rockies fans are getting anytime they order the Rocky Mountain Oysters at Coors Field.

That’s because the “oysters” that are served up are actually deep-fried bull testicles that are meant to be dipped in cocktail sauce, making these both unique and a little less desired than other ballpark food in the majors.

Still, for those who have the balls—and stomach—to try them out, go for it, because it’s well worth the story.

Los Angeles Dodgers: The Shock Top Bratwurst

If you’re smart enough to pick up on the fact that The Shock Top Bratwurst got its name from the famous brewery, you’d be correct, because the L.A. Dodgers teamed up with the beer to come up with this brat.

Infused with Shock Top beer, this spicy pork bratwurst is served on a buttered and grilled lobster roll with caramelized onions and spicy brown mustard, making it appear to be heaven on earth if you ask me.

San Diego Padres: The Baked Bear Ice Cream Sandwich

There’s nothing more delightful than a cold, flavorful ice cream sandwich to enjoy a baseball game in Southern California with, which is why the San Diego Padres introduced The Baked Bear to Petco Park this season.

With a variety of both ice cream and cookie flavors for fans to custom make and satisfy their sweet tooth, one of these things will make Padres fans forget that the team hasn’t reached the playoffs since 2006.

San Francisco Giants: Gilroy Garlic Fries

Ask anyone who has ever been to a Giants game and they’ll tell you the one thing you need to try are these garlic fries, as they’ve become the unofficial snack for San Francisco fans.

As simple a recipe as one could imagine—they’re literally just fries with a bunch of breath-altering garlic loaded on top—when paired with dipping sauce, these things are lethal. It’s no wonder so many consider them to be the most popular snack in any MLB stadium.