Dakota State Football Coaches Playing ‘Dizzy Punt’ Should Earn Them An Automatic Bowl Game Bid

This is the only recruiting video Dakota State University needs for me to sign the dotted line. Promises of bowl games and education (lol) fall on deaf ears to this guy. Just show me a couple coaches falling over themselves and maybe hook me up with a handjob from a cheerleader, and I’m a Dakota State Trojan to the core. Aaannnd a weekly stipend from the boosters wouldn’t hurt their case either. Aaaand maybe an apartment for my baby momma would really seal the deal. Along with a new car. Leather seats. Just that and high paying jobs for my entourage. I’m low maintenance. GO TROJANS!!


Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.