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ESPN’s Dan Orlovsky thinks youth sports are “completely broken” and explains why it happened. He also offers some suggestions on how to fix it.
Orlovsky, who played seven years in the NFL and has four children, recently made this claim in an interview with USA Today.
“I think youth sports are completely broken,” the 41-year-old said. “I think the emphasis on ego from the coaches has completely overwhelmed youth sports. I think the emphasis on winning and losing has completely overwhelmed youth sports. I think the lack of commitment to development has completely overwhelmed youth sports.
“Obviously, there’s a lot of money attached to it nowadays. We have lost sight of why kids play sports.”
Orlovsky, who has a nine-year-old daughter and triplet sons who will turn 13 later this month, added, “The unfortunate card that they got dealt is every game that they go to, there’s expectations.”
As a result of his concerns, Dan Orlovsky is now a spokesman for a program called All Pro Dad.
“Probably being a dad for me is not even close to being the most important thing I’ll ever do in my life,” said Orlovsky. “I don’t think that I was naturally born with elite dad skills.”
Now, he says, he follows four tenets set forth by the fatherhood program.
1. Our parents give us a model, but we can be intentional about how we approach our kids.
Orlovsky says he has spoken to friends of his who are dads, telling them, “Hey, I know that you’re a super intense dad. You want the very best for your son. I get it. But just let me show you what she’s probably thinking right now when you’re doing that or talking to him that way.”
2. “What do you need from me?” Your sports experience isn’t the same as your kids’ sports experience.
“I ask my kids, ‘What do you want from me to be your best?’ I have no clue,” he said. “Just because I played this sport doesn’t mean I know how they feel about how they’re playing, or the feelings that they’re having.”
3. “What was your favorite part of the game?” We can’t expect each kid’s sports experience to be the same, either.
“I have one kid who’s not into sports,” Orlovsky said. “And he’s made me an exponentially better father than I could ever imagine, because he’s forced me to get interested in the things that I’m not naturally interested in.”
4. “Winning and losing is for the kids. It’s not for the adults and parents.”
“I think what parents and coaches have done with youth sports, and I’m not saying this is for all of them − I obviously haven’t observed all of them − I think it’s broken,” Dan Orlovsky explained.
“Kids should be playing youth sports to be running around outside with their friends, and then it grows into learning what it’s like to be on a team, and then it grows into learning what it means to be physically tough, and learning what it means to be mentally tough, and then learning what hard work is, and then learning what commitment is, and learning what it takes to win rather than winning, and all the steps along the way.”