Sports

Dan Orlovsky Shares Unhinged Halloween Candy Rankings That Send Internet Into Uproar

#ESPN
by

Getty Image


Former NFL quarterback turned ESPN star Dan Orlovsky is well-known for having horrendous opinions about food.

Orlovsky eats like a child and regularly gets chastised by his ESPN NFL Live co-hosts for doing so.

But the former journeyman QB took things to a new level on Thursday when he shared his top-five most overrated Halloween candies.

We’ll start from the bottom up. Because some of Orlovsky’s takes, while I disagree with them, were reasonable.

At No. 5, Orlovsky lists Hershey’s candy bars. We’re not sure if that’s just the OG Hershey chocolate bar, or if it includes spin-offs such as Krackel and Mr. Goodbar. Original Hershey chocolate bars are good, but can be a bit underwhelming. And the spin-offs are also solid but are typically overused on trick-or-treat.

Checking in at No. 4 in Nerds. Now, Nerds are immensely popular candy. Especially the Nerds Rope clusters, which are delicious. But I can see how they wouldn’t float everyone’s boat.

Orlovsky lists Twizzlers at No. 3, and he’s objectively correct on this one. Twizzlers are a mediocre candy. They’re not repulsive, but they’re also not particularly good and they get stale very quickly. All forms of licorice are highly overrated and black licorice is a scourge on humanity.

But here’s where things get back.

Orlovsky lists Butterfingers at No. 2. That is BLASPHEMY. Butterfingers are an elite candy bar. They have the sweetness of the chocolate, the creaminess of the peanut butter, and a crispy core to add texture. I haven’t had a Butterfinger in a long time, but that may change specifically because fo Orlovsky.

What a clown take. And it somehow GETS WORSE.

Orlovsky’s NUMBER ONE most overrated Halloween candy is Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Just no.

The RPBC is an elite candy. The ratio of chocolate to peanut butter is perfect. Its simplicity of incredible flavors has fed generations. There’s a reason it’s the No. 2 (should be No. 1) best-selling candy in America.

Thankfully, Orlovsky’s co-hosts jumped in to show him the error of his ways. As did Twitter users.

Shockingly, Orlovsky then says that Reese’s Pieces (which are delicious) are one of his favorite candies, citing the ratio of peanut butter to chocolate. He also states that his favorite candy bar is Whatchamacallit.

I’ll be honest here. Walked by many a Whatchamacallit in my life. Never had one. So maybe he’s onto something there. But it’s a Dan Orlovsky food take at its absolute finest.

Clay Sauertieg BroBible avatar and headshot
Clay Sauertieg is an editor with an expertise in College Football and Motorsports. He graduated from Penn State University and the Curley Center for Sports Journalism with a degree in Print Journalism.
Tags