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Today In: How To Pick Up A Stranger As A Professional Athlete.
Step 1: Breathe.
Step 2: Repeat.
Exhibit 1,292,180: David Neres.
Neres, the 22-year-old Brazilian forward and club Ajax player, scooped up his current girlfriend–German model Kira Winona–by ushering a horse and carriage to her doorstep sliding into her DMs on Instagram with a line that sounds less like a romantic plea than it did an order.
In an interview with Het Parool, Neres said:
“German women apparently love Brazilian men.
“I found her on Instagram and sent a private message: ‘I am David Neres, come to me.’ That was enough for a date.”
(Are we sure this isn’t a hostage situation?)
And wa-lah!
https://twitter.com/TheEuropeanLad/status/1114466674546237440
https://www.instagram.com/p/BuhkhqhlBFM/
https://www.instagram.com/p/BjcrOHnnfyr/
When given the opportunity to sing Winona’s praises, the Ajax star decided to go a different route and heave praise upon himself.
https://twitter.com/TheEuropeanLad/status/1114143895485583360
Chalk this up to a win for the Girls Love Assholes team!
https://www.instagram.com/p/BiUxyrEHvtv/
https://www.instagram.com/p/BllpcqdHIdh/
Challenge: DM a random Instagram model (synonym: girl with an Instagram account) and use the following line: “I am (your name), come to me.” Send me a screenshot of the results and I’ll frame it in my office.
[h/t SportBible]