Dr Pepper is very specific about how people refer to its ‘Tuition Giveaway’ at halftime of college football conference championship games and will get very angry if you do not address the company and/or its competition correctly. However, the carbonated soft drink conglomerate refuses to improve the actual contest, which reached its low point in Arlington on Saturday afternoon.
Two female participants put on the worst display of athleticism the Dr Pepper Tuition Giveaway has ever seen while only using the chest pass.
Before we continue, Dr Pepper really wants you to know that its name does not include a period after the Dr. It is just Dr Pepper. I made the mistake of adding the period in the past (because the abbreviation for “doctor” is properly punctuated as Dr.) which resulted in multiple angry emails. Won’t do that again!
With that out of the way, lets address the underwhelming showing at the Big 12 Championship down in Texas. Even though it is referred to as the “tuition toss” in common vernacular, Dr Pepper will get upset if you don’t call the Tuition Giveaway by its proper name so that’s what we will do.
The first Dr Pepper Tuition Toss Giveaway of 2024 was horrendous!
Colleen defeated Joy by a final score of 8-5 and won $100,000 in tuition money. Although she won fair and square, they managed to throw just 13 total footballs through a small opening from five yards away within the 30-second time limit, combined.
It was an especially pathetic showing because they both used the chest pass. There is no rule that requires them to use a proper throwing motion so it was not illegal, just super boring.
— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) December 7, 2024
To compare, a young man by the name of Andrew Jimenez set the all-time record at 17 last season. He did so while only using traditional quarterback form, not the chest pass. 369 days later, Joy and Colleen combined for four less made tosses while using the chest pass. Brutal.
The good news is this. There was not any controversy. Colleen won outright and received $100K.
Dr Pepper had to pay out more than one contestant in each of the last two years after a pair of major controversies. One took place at the Big 12 Championship. The other took place at the SEC Championship.
While a lack of controversy is a good thing, the product on the field at halftime at AT&T Stadium on Saturday was an even bigger issue. It was painful to watch. Eyes were bleeding nationwide.
A ban on the chest pass would solve all of Dr Pepper’s problems. Even if the final score of a chest pass-less competition was 1-0, watching two contestants try to actually throw a football would be far more entertaining than the disaster in Dallas. Reform is necessary. Change is the only way forward.
Do the right thing, Dr (no period) Pepper!