DraftKings Is Giving You An Opportunity To Win $100,000 And A Chance To Tell Your Boss What You Really Think About Him

by 3 years ago
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Is there anyone reading right now that isn’t already signed up for this? By now, we’ve all had 7 weeks of football games to realize how underwhelming our lives are–we go to work, kiss some ass, find an excuse not to go to the gym, scrounge up some miscellaneous quarters for dinner, repeat. I’ve had days when the best 45 minutes of the day have been my mid-morning dump.

And us fixed income slugs know this all too well. We are entirely limited by our means, regardless of our desires. I want a fucking air hockey table in my apartment–but this is just a pipe dream unless I seek alternate means of cash flow.

My lifeline: DraftKings week 8 contest.

The contest is absolutely FREE to enter for new users and only $3 for returning DraftKings players. $3 can buy you a subway ride, a slice of pizza, and now thanks to DraftKings, a retirement fund and a miniature horse. Why would you want a miniature horse, you ask? Because you can.

Here is what you need to know:

  • First Place: $100,000
  • Prize Pool: $1,250,000
  • Over 105,000 scores win money GUARANTEED
  • Start Time: Sunday at 1:00 PM EST
  • Style: Salary Cap Drafting. $50,000 to select 9 spots. 8 Players and 1 Defense.
  • Roster Format: 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 1 Flex and 1 Defense.

Bro, if this thing doesn’t look like it would be a hell of a time, disregard everything I just said. We just have different ideologies. Go join ISIS or something.

MINI HORSE

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