Watch This Golfer Murder A Poor Seagull In Cold Blood With A Piss Poor Drive


Mark this murderer down for a birdie.

I love how the seagull sets up shop like 16 yards in front of the dude, completely overestimating his ability. “Should be safe here, unless this dude is teeing off with his putter and has never swung a golf club in his entire life.” Then one reckless swing and a sharp liner back to the pitcher later, we have a dead bird on the fairway and on this poor bastard’s conscience.

What sucks even more is that since the ball didn’t go past the ladies tee, the dude has to tee off on the next hole with his dick out. Rules are rules bro, respect the game and let’s see that pecker. Unless we’re judging the shot on where the seagull landed. If that’s the case, congrats on the hole-in-one dude. Helluva shot. You won’t have to buy one beer in the clubhouse. Just make sure you pour one out for the living thing you bludgeoned to death with your Pinnacle 2.

And keep your head up, pal. One man’s trash is another’s treasure.

pretty bird

pretty bird


[h/t Barstool]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.