Gronk Is Hosting A Spike Event For Charity And You Have To Watch The Commercial, For The Kids

by 4 years ago

Four and a half stars. Brilliant, engaging, and action-packed. The only way this could have been better is if Gronk spiked a human being. Like a ball boy or Skip Bayless. Five stars on the inanimate object scale though.

You know when people ask you that tight-assed hypothetical before they sip a glass of wine: “If you could hang out with one celebrity, living or dead, for one day who would it be?” And people give you the answer that they think you want to hear, like ‘Martin Luther King’ or ‘Ghandi’. Those people are incorrect. If you aren’t choosing Rob Gronkowski, you and MLK can march your way out of my apartment. Leave the wine.

I don’t even need to be chilling with you, Gronk. Just let me in the building. Fuck it, I’ll be a fly on the wall while you plow my girlfriend. At least then, she’ll be excited to have sex. For once.