Japanese Olympian Racks Up A $5,000 Phone Bill Trying To Play ‘Pokemon Go’ In Rio

In all honesty, the two hottest stories right now are anything concerning Pokemon Go and whatever the fuck is going on with the Rio Olympics. So really, it was only a matter of time before something weird happened and these two stories somehow got twisted into one, weirder story. And today is that day.

Via SB Nation:

“Kohei Uchimura is the Olympic gymnast favored to win the men’s all around competition in Rio. He’s also a fan of the latest mobile craze, Pokemon Go. Upon landing in Brazil, Uchimura downloaded the game and began to play along with the rest of the world, catching all the Pokemon he could. The only difference? He didn’t take into account the data overages that could hit and suddenly his phone bill was $5,000.

But this where the story gets strange. Technically, Pokemon Go is not even available in Brazil at this time. Many athletes and fans are already upset over Pokemon Go not being available during the Olympics. So if the game isn’t available in Brazil, it’s possible that Uchimura walked about Brazil racking up a $5,000 bill and never catching any actual Pokemon.”

I’m not sure why people are so surprised about this. Pokemon are essentially animals. Animals have enough instincts to not go to dangerous places. Rio is dangerous. Pokemon aren’t going to go hang around Rio in hopes that they caught. Technically, Pokemon aren’t supposed to want to get caught. Sure, they all seem to get Stockholm Syndrome once they get stuffed into a Pokeball, but they at least have enough sense to go hang out somewhere that isn’t categorized by drug lords and streams of human shit. If you’re existence is to simply sit around until you get kidnapped, you may as well do it somewhere that doesn’t involve you getting the Zika virus climbing all up in your dick hole.