Jim Harbaugh is suspended. He is not dead.
You would not know that he is living based on how Michigan continues to act.
University president Santa Ono issued a statement on Sunday. It addressed the Wolverines fanbase as if they were dealing with the loss of their head football coach.
Countless members of the University of Michigan family have reached out to me over the weekend and I wanted to express my appreciation. Like any community, we face our share of challenges and adversity. There have been many such moments in our history. But as our team showed so clearly yesterday, we will respond to any challenge head on with a conviction to do better and to emerge even stronger. Go Blue! 〽️
— Santa Ono on X, formerly known as Twitter
Ono, who began his tenure in Oct. 2022, made it sound like tragedy struck the campus. In reality, Jim Harbaugh was punished as result of his program’s widespread cheating scandal.
Michigan allegedly benefitted from a nationwide sign-stealing operation that involved the illegal filming and scouting of future opponents. Since-fired Connor Stalions was at the forefront of the misconduct.
The NCAA continues to investigate. The Big Ten decided on Friday evening that it was going to issue a penalty based on its initial findings.
Harbaugh was banned from coaching the Wolverines during games in each of the last three weeks of the regular season. That included Saturday at Penn State, which created a hilariously sad mental image.
Following the win, interim head coach Sherrone Moore cried and cursed on national television while giving a shoutout to Harbaugh. Quarterback J.J. McCarthy made it seem like Harbaugh had passed away, and that he couldn’t wait to one day see him again in another life.
Meanwhile, ‘Michigan vs. Everybody’ merchandise is flying off of the shelves in Ann Arbor. The fanbase is rallying around the suspended coach as if he will never get to be on the sideline again.
And yet, despite all of the mourning, Harbaugh is not dead!
Even though this entire saga surrounding Michigan football is objectively hilarious to those who are not attached to the program, it is getting to the point of exhaustion. The Wolverines, while alleged cheaters, are a very good team that can win ballgames without cheating. Their head coach will be back to coaching at the end of the regular season. He is still alive.